Sound familiar?
Is everybody worried about you but you?
- Your daughter calls and the first thing she asks is “what if you fall?”
- Somebody at church mentions a nice place with a dining room, and looks at you a little too long.
- You take care of your house, you drive, you shop, and still someone talks about you like a problem to solve.
- You lie awake wondering what it would take for them to decide for you.
- You love the peace and quiet of your own home. You just want to keep it.
It isn’t your fault they worry. But you can be the one with the plan.
What you were told, and what works instead
Living alone after 75 is dangerous.
A house that isn’t ready is the risk, so get the house ready. Mine passed 60 of 70 checks before I fixed a thing. p. 17
Once you’re 80, it’s just a matter of time.
I saw two women the same age. One stayed home to the end, the other was gone inside a year. It was the house, not the birthday. p. 8
You’d have to remodel to stay.
My seven fixes came to $48.42 in parts. Many of the rest are just taking things out: the sink rug, the throw rugs, the cords. p. 165
If your kids say it’s time, it’s time.
Families panic. Two sentences and a house that passes calmed a worried son faster than any brochure. p. 181
Asking for help means you can’t manage.
A few hours of help is what lets you keep managing. The ones who let a little help in early tended to stay home longer. p. 171
Real pages from the book
Look inside
What’s inside As Long As I Can
As Long As I Can is the 70-check house test that keeps you in your own home: 9 parts, 204 pages, every one usable with a pen.
| # | Part | Page |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Start here: the 15-minute walk-through. Start here: one 15-minute lap of the house with a pen, and you’ll know which room comes first. | 11 |
| 2 | The 7-room test. The 7-room test: front door to back yard, ten checks a room, each marked pass, fix or get help. | 16 |
| 3 | Before winter, and before summer. Before winter, and before summer: the lists to tick in October and again before the heat. | 159 |
| 4 | Take it out. Take it out: what to remove so the house works for you, not against you. | 164 |
| 5 | Help without moving. Help without moving: who to call for help at home, and what to say when they answer. | 168 |
| 6 | The check-in plan. The check-in plan: the daily call, the spare key, a phone you can always reach. | 173 |
| 7 | When your family says it’s time. When your family says it’s time: what to say, and the family meeting page. | 180 |
| 8 | A full day at home. A full day at home: company, routine and a reason to get up, without leaving your house. | 185 |
| 9 | Your one-page plan. Your one-page plan, the scorecard and the cards to tape inside a cupboard door. | 190 |
A few things you’ll find
- The room I always looked at first (it isn’t the stairs)p. 13
- The thing on almost every kitchen floor I asked to take away on my first visitp. 39
- What should stand inside your front door before the first frostp. 35
- The two sentences that calmed a worried son faster than any brochurep. 181
- Why I keep a phone at floor height in one roomp. 177
- The free number that finds help in your countyp. 169
At the back: a quick-reference page, a seasonal walk-through log, and an index to look things up by what’s in your house. No medical, money or legal advice: where a check needs a professional, the page says so and says who.
Why I wrote this
A ring of keys to other people’s front doors
I started going into older people’s homes for the county in 1981, as a homemaker. Groceries, meals, housework, laundry, and a lot of sitting at kitchen tables. For twenty-seven years I carried a ring of keys to other people’s front doors.
I watched who got to stay home and who didn’t. Often it wasn’t their age. It was the rug by the sink, the porch light out all winter, the bathroom nobody looked at. Then one bad week, and a worried daughter on the phone.
My Gene died in 2011. My daughter wanted me in a home before the flowers had wilted. I said no. Fifteen years later, I’m still in the brick ranch we bought in 1972, and I love the quiet.
So I wrote down what I learned to look at in every house. Room by room, what to check, what to fix, and when to get help. It’s the book I wish my ladies had had.
Arlene Fairley
Is this book for you?
It’s for you if
- You live in your own home, alone or with a spouse, and you mean to stay.
- Your family worries and you’d like an answer ready.
- You like practical, cheap fixes you can do yourself or with a handyman.
- You’re helping a parent stay home and want a plan you can walk through together.
It’s not for you if
- You’re looking for medical, money or legal advice. It isn’t in here.
- You want a remodel plan or product reviews.
- You’ve already decided to move and want help choosing a place.
What still needs a professional
Anything about your health, medicines or falls goes to your doctor. Money and benefits go to your local office on aging. Wiring, gas and structural work go to a licensed tradesperson. The book says so on every page where it matters.
What it takes
The walk-through takes 15 minutes. The full test takes about 2 hours, and you can do it one room a day. Some fixes take an afternoon, and a few need you to make a call.
Get As Long As I Can
As Long As I Can
- The 7-room test: 70 checks, each marked pass, fix or get help, so you know what to do in every room
- The 15-minute walk-through, so today you know which room to start with
- The before-winter and before-summer lists, so the seasons don’t catch the house out
- The take-it-out list, for the things that are in your way and cost nothing to remove
- The help list and the ‘who to call’ card, starting with the free Eldercare Locator number
- The check-in card and the family meeting page, with the words for when they say it’s time
- The 70-check scorecard and your one-page plan, to print and show your family
- PDF and EPUB, 204 pages, print as many copies as you like
- Anything I add to the book later comes to you free
Secure checkout. I never share your details.
Right after you pay, the download page opens, and the link comes by email too. Start on page 11: the walk-through takes 15 minutes and a pen.
The Spare Key Promise
I gave my spare key to Bev across the street because I trust her. Trust me the same way: use the book for 30 days. If it doesn’t help you stay in your own home with a little more confidence, write to me and you get every cent back, no questions asked. Keep the book.
Questions people ask me
Is this medical advice?
No. I was a county homemaker, not a nurse: housework, meals and company. This book is about your house and your days. Health questions go to your doctor.
I’m on a fixed income. Will I have to spend a lot?
No. Many checks cost nothing, and some fixes are just taking things out. My own seven fixes came to $48.42 in parts. Where something costs money, the page gives the store and the month I read the price.
I’m 85. Is it too late for me?
No. The checks are about your house, not your birthday. Start with the 15-minute walk-through and go at your own pace.
Can I print it?
Yes. It’s a PDF you can print at home on ordinary paper, as many copies as you like, plus an EPUB for a tablet.
I’m helping my mother stay home. Is it for me?
Yes. Walk through it together. The family meeting page was written for exactly that.
I’m not good with computers.
You’ll get one email with one link. Click it and the book opens. If you get stuck, reply to the email and we’ll help.
What if it doesn’t help?
Then you get every cent back within 30 days, and you keep the book. That’s the Spare Key Promise.
Why is there a timer?
The launch price of $27 holds for 20 minutes from when you open this page. That’s time to read it and ask your family. After that it goes back to $37.
Walk through your house this week
Fifteen minutes, a pen and the first page, and you’ll know which room to start with. Then 70 checks, one room at a time, and an answer ready when someone says it’s time.
Get your house ready, and you keep the say. Arlene
P.S. P.S. If you only do one page, make it the walk-through on page 11. The 70-check test is $27 today, and the Spare Key Promise means you risk nothing: 30 days, every cent back, keep the book.